Marriage and Family Therapy, Las Vegas, LLC

In all things; Balance

Balance is a hard thing to achieve when we are used to thinking about things in extremes. Good behavior-bad behavior, good person- bad person. When we apply these extreme and harsh thoughts to actions, feelings, behaviors it is very easy to demonize yourself or others. Turns out this is childlike thinking. When we are children we cannot process complex thoughts so our brains breaks things down into simple categories, like good and bad. However, it is time to update our brains and remind ourselves that as adults we can process complex thought, that nothing is all good or all bad. Finding the balance can be tricky when we are used to thinking in extremes but it is worth it so that we can remind ourselves that we are inherently good, even if we make a bad choice. We do not have to be perfect to be good people, that is just an example of extreme thinking that does not serve our mental health. If you need help processing this idea, or if you find that you tend to judge yourself harshly maybe it is time to get some help learning a new, more balanced way of thinking. Make your appointment today.

Unrealistic Hope

Acceptance is the idea that you can give up the hope that something will be different and take it as it is in reality. We often hold on to unrealistic hope in relationships and that holds us back from the freedom that comes with acceptance. Do you wish someone would do more, say more, be different, treat you differently even though they never have? That is an example of unrealistic hope. Accepting people as they are means you are free to make decisions based on truth instead of hope. While living in truth might seem harder at first it does free you up to get what you need elsewhere. Are you scared to face the truth in a relationship because that means you will have to make a hard decision, have a hard conversation, or realize something hard about yourself? It might not seem worth it, but I promise at the end of the day seeing things, people, relationships for what they are will lift such a weight from your soul it is worth pursuing. I am here to help. Make your appointment today.

You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

I talk a lot about self care, I think it is important. While the ultimate goal is to connect fully, and honestly with others that is an impossible task if you do not even know how to take care of yourself. I am not talking about bubble baths (although if that is what you love, please go for it!), what I am talking about is getting your needs met, being able to ask for them, enforcing clear and healthy boundaries, being able to speak up and say “no” when you want to say no, knowing yourself, being clear on your own values and morals, knowing what you love, loving yourself, appreciating what you have been through and the lessons that the pain brings, being able to comfort yourself, allowing yourself to feel sad, allowing yourself to feel joy, knowing your worth, knowing your strength, knowing your blindspots, and so much more. Self care is literally taking care of yourself first so that you have something genuine and whole to give to others. If you struggle with any of these I would love to help with your journey towards self care.

You Matter. Act Accordingly.

Do you get lost in your own life? Do you exhaust yourself always doing things for other people? Do you know how to say “No. Thank you”? Do you treat yourself with the same grace and love that you treat everyone else with? If you said no to any of these then I would like you to explore your boundaries with other people. Boundaries sound scary. I hear many clients say that they feel like they can’t say no to requests, or that they must be perfect givers. The problem with always saying yes and giving all the time is that it leads to exhaustion, resentment, anger, low self- esteem and fractured relationships. Healthy boundaries are important part in showing yourself that you are worthy of love. Taking care of yourself and knowing your limits actually makes you a better partner, friend, giver because you will be able to fill requests from a place of peace and love instead of resentment or annoyance. Loving yourself first means you can say “No” when you need to and that is okay. So, take care of yourself too because you need it and you are worthy of it.

If you need help making or maintaining boundaries I am here. Make your appointment today.

Out of Control

We know people who are Type A; who like to plan and sort and organize and feel like they have control over their lives. Feeling out of control is scary! When people who enjoy feeling control feel out of control they can lash out at themselves, their lives and those around them. The anxiety that comes with feeling out of control is real. It can effect how we feel, our health and our relationships. One of the things we do in session is talk about why it is so important to feel like you have control. We also might talk about how to help shift what control even means, because if there is anything I have learned during this pandemic is that we have less control then we think and what we DO have control over is different than we think. If you are feeling anxiety, out of control, scared, or uncomfortable then right now might be a good time to come in and talk about those feelings. Book your appointment today.

Attention Health Care Workers and Support Staff

This time is all about you and how hard you are working to keep us healthy. You are working so much, worrying about our health, finding enough PPE, worrying about your family, and all the other things you have on your mind. During this extraordinary time don’t forget to protect your metal health. We all need a place to unload our worries, learn anti-anxiety tools, and just have some time to focus on ourselves. I know you are busy, which is why I am offering half or full sessions via teletherapy to fit your schedule. Text me today to set up your first appointment, 725-222-9269.

It’s a mad, mad world

These are unprecedented times. It is to be expected if you are struggling right now. It’s okay to not know how to manage this time and space. It’s okay to be nervous, scared even. It’s okay to not enjoy homeschooling. It’s okay to miss your co-workers. Whatever you are going through it is okay to feel all of your feelings. If you feel like your thoughts are swirling out of control it may be time to reach out and ask for some help. If the negative thoughts seem to be taking over it may be time to reach out and ask for some help. Getting help is okay too. Just because we are all locked in our homes does not mean that we have to go through this alone. Reach out. I am here.

Therapy from home

I am now offering online sessions. Please contact me for availability.

Under Pressure…

When we are under stress we forget what we are supposed to do to help us calm down. In that moment we can feel helpless, which makes us feel more stressed. Whatever tools you have that you like to help bring you back to present you should practice often. Balloon breathing, square breathing, breathe in for 4 and out for 8, object naming, whatever your favorites are you can do them two- three times a day to help them sink into long term memory. It takes 90 days for things to sink in and, just like your favorite sport, the more you practice the more naturally the skill will come when you need it. So do your deep breathing in the morning, and before bed too. It will take 2 minutes and then when you need it, when that moment comes and you feel like you are panicking about something, your body will know what to do. Can you imagine learning to shoot a three point basket in basketball and then never doing it again until you are in the game? Mental health skills are the same as any other skill, practice makes perfect. Need some more tools to practice? Make your appointment today.

Who are you?

So often we pay attention to who everyone else is and what they like and how they act and what they respond to. These are important skills to have when working with clients, bosses, kids, spouses, anyone really. But how much time do you spend thinking about who you are? Or what do you like about yourself? Or what do you bring to the room? So often I ask clients, “who are you?” and they don’t know because they have never thought about it before. It is so important to know yourself! Until you are authentic with yourself, in yourself, to yourself you can’t be fully present in any other situation. You matter. If you want help figuring it out come in and let’s talk about it.